Crapbook Air

I've never been a big fan of Apple's hardware, it's guaranteed to be overpriced and underperforming, and once again they don't fail to prove me right. For a laptop costing $1,800 I have high expectations. Call me frugal, but if I'm paying more than $1,000 for a computer it better be the fastest thing around. But here is the rundown:

1.6GHz Core2 Duo
2GB DDR2
WiFi
80GB 4200 RPM hard drive
1 USB 2.0 port
1 audio output
microDVI output

Now here's my questions:
1) Where is the optical drive? How do I play CDs or watch DVDs? Oh, I pay an extra $100 and use up the only USB port.

2) 4200 RPM drive? I must be dreaming? Oh no, that's true... And if you want a faster drive you move down to 64GB and cough up an extra $1,000.

3) Where's the ethernet connection? Oh, you have to pay $30 and use up the only USB port.

4) That 13'' LCD a bit tiny, even by 1995 standards? Yeah, Apple knows. Which is why they'll sell you a monitor that connects to the bizarre miniDVI port for only $600.

5) 1.6 GHz a bit on-par with a few years ago? Well you can go for a 1.8 GHz for only $300 more.

Now I have to wonder who will buy these? My guess is Apple's main customer base, as they show in their commercials. Smug people with too much money and no common sense.